Why We Never Forget What We’re Not Missing
Last night was Sunday night in Pattaya, and I caught up with some expat friends for their end‑of‑week ritual drink — soda water for me (called “sodaaa” here, or “club soda” for my American friends). Jack and Dexter are engineers, expats living in Pattaya and working out of a foreign‑owned factory in Rayong. Both are in metal fabrication engineers.
I’d seen them Friday night after they’d put in a hard week. They let loose Friday, carried on Saturday afternoon, and again Saturday night. They didn’t hurt anyone or get into trouble — they just drank a lot.
By Sunday night, though, their faces told the story. It was a look I know well from my own past: the “coming down” night. Their beers were nursed gently, their eyes full of the quiet dread of Monday. You could almost hear the inner dialogue: “I’ll sort out problem A tomorrow, then move on to problem B.”
It was the point of realisation — that maybe Friday and Saturday had been approached with too much enthusiasm. Because now, Sunday had snuck up behind them, presenting the Monday reality. And I knew that by 5pm Monday, the first thing they’d be looking for was a 7‑Eleven fridge stacked with Singha.
For me, Sunday night with Jack and Dexter wasn’t about judgment — it was about recognition. AA teaches that even after decades of sobriety, newcomers remind us how bad it can get. This weekend wasn’t that extreme, but it was a cut‑down, real‑time telemetry reminder: once you’re emotionally and spiritually ready, you can “exercise” your sobriety in the full face of how you used to drink.
That was the grace. In the rooms, old‑timers keep going back after twenty years to be reminded by newcomers how bad it can get. Out in the world, people like me practice saying “no” in real time — not in theory, but in the lived moment. Both are reminders of why we stay close to grace, and why we never forget what we’re not missing.
About Jason Bresnehan
Jason is a writer and recovery advocate whose work explores the intersection of Catholic faith and the lived experience of addiction. His books and essays weave scripture with the rhythms of everyday life, showing how grace can surface in the most ordinary encounters.
Through A Catholic Gospel Journey – Through the Lens of Alcohol Recovery and related projects, Jason offers reflections that connect the Sunday readings to the struggles and victories of recovery. His approach is rooted in clarity, rhythm, and respect for tradition, while remaining accessible to those navigating the challenges of addiction and renewal.
Founder of the Hadspen Foundation, Jason is committed to building frameworks for spiritual recovery that are both repeatable and personal. His writing is guided by discernment, narrative cadence, and the belief that doctrine should support—not overshadow—the human story.