Step One: Principle 4 of 6 – Foundation of Humility

Principle 4 of 6 – Foundation of Humility

👁️ What It Means on the Surface

Humility in Step One isn’t about grovelling or shame. It’s about honest self-assessment—acknowledging that you don’t have all the answers and that your way hasn’t worked. It’s the quiet strength of saying, “I need help.” This principle is the soil in which recovery can grow.

For many, humility begins with the realization that ego, pride, and self-will have been poor guides. Another poor guide for me was a determination to leverage my God-given and learned skills to bend the universe—the people, organisations, and companies around me—into the shape I had imagined. It’s a ludicrous notion, but one that’s shared by many determined alcoholics. When you’re humbled in this area, it lays a foundation stone for turning your will over to God.

Humility isn’t about thinking less of yourself—it’s about thinking of yourself less. That’s the second foundation stone: service.

I used to think humility meant weakness. When faced with it, my nervous system would default to fight or flight—mainly fight—as I tried to ward off this perceived attack on my character. I associated humility with submission, with being walked over.

In AA, I first learned that humility is actually relief. When in a humble headspace, you realise how little control you really have. It was an invitation to stop smashing my head against the brick wall trying to break it down.

I remember my first ID Share at AA, 11 days sober. The theme was that for the last 30 years, I had been living the complete opposite of the Serenity Prayer:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.

I had lived for 30 years with barely a moment of serenity. Instead, I cycled through working hard, thinking hard, acting assertively and quickly, taking risks, trying to force outcomes, and being disappointed when the universe didn’t comply. I’d drink to release the pressure valve—and repeat.

The second thing I learned about humility in AA is that it opens the door to change.

👁️ Where People Go Wrong with This Principle

1. Confusing humility with humiliation
   Humiliation is imposed from the outside; humility is chosen from within. Some resist this principle because they fear being diminished. But true humility is dignified. It’s the strength to be honest, not the shame of being exposed.

    

2. Performing humility instead of practicing it
   Saying the right things in meetings, nodding along, or quoting the Big Book doesn’t mean you’ve embraced humility. It’s not a performance—it’s a posture of the heart. I’ve seen people “talk humble” but still run on ego.

    

3. Thinking humility is a one-time event
   Humility isn’t something you achieve and move on from. It’s a daily practice. Every time you admit you don’t know, ask for help, or listen instead of speak—you’re practicing humility.

   By the grace of God, I’ve developed a degree of humility quickly. I pray daily, attend a Lectio Divina scripture study class every Friday, go to church on Sundays, and reflect at the end of each day. Sometimes, before meetings, I ask God to help me stay humble in my words and actions.

   Of course, I slip up all the time. But the more I monitor it, the better I get at maintaining humility in my interactions.

   I’ve always tried to be ahead of the curve, but I haven’t rushed the 12 Steps. I’ve accepted them at face value while giving myself permission to thoughtfully and respectfully present alternative views. I also respect the many interpretations of scripture. I believe it’s an act of humility to publicly disclose that I’m a recovering alcoholic and face whatever consequences that may bring.

    

4. Confusing humility with pride
   I have strong opinions when AA fellows conflate humility with pride. I bite my tongue when pride—as one of the seven deadly sins—is raised.

   I’ve seen people cherry-pick a version of humility that justifies doing very little, avoiding growth, or staying stagnant. Maybe I’m reading it wrong, but I fall squarely on the side that sees pride as a positive trait. At one end of the spectrum, it’s not respectful to yourself if you don’t shower, swear too much, or show up late.

   I think the “deadly sin” version of pride has been lost in translation and historical context. Sure, it was a bad look when bishops wore robes worth five years of a servant’s wages. But pride equals self-worth—and self-worth means you’re less likely to hide in a bottle of whisky.

👁️ Double Meanings and Psychological Traps

• “I’ve got this now”
  One of the most dangerous thoughts in early recovery. It’s the ego sneaking back in. Humility says, “I’m still learning. I still need help.” The moment you think you’ve mastered humility—you’ve lost it.

  As a business consultant, I see humility as an “emotional system” that needs continual improvement—just like any business system. In business, there’s power in incremental improvement across every facet. Humility, like any human trait, can always be improved.

   

• Mistaking silence for humility
  Some people withdraw and call it humility. But humility isn’t silence—it’s honesty. It’s being willing to speak when it’s uncomfortable and to listen when it’s inconvenient.
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• Using humility as a shield
  “I’m just trying to stay humble” can become an excuse to avoid responsibility or growth. True humility doesn’t hide—it shows up.

  I’ll never use humility to justify silence or inaction. I’m all about reshaping and rebuilding “the new brand of me.” The old brand was “Jason, the hard-charging, assertive, outcome-focused business guy who could drink like there’s no tomorrow.” The new brand is “Calm, humble, considered, thoughtful, aware of his place in the universe, spiritual, outcome-focused business guy who devotes time to serving others.”

  That’s not “pride f***ing with me,” as Marsellus said to Butch in Pulp Fiction—it’s a balanced way forward. Outcomes still matter, because they help me gather resources to help others.

👁️ The Deeper Spiritual Invitation

Humility is the gateway to grace. It’s the moment you stop trying to be your own higher power. It’s the beginning of trust—trust in AA, in others, and in something greater than yourself.

For me, humility was the first time I said, “I don’t know how to fix this.” That sentence changed everything. It allowed others in. It allowed God in. And it allowed me to begin again.

Humility isn’t the end of self—it’s the beginning of self-awareness. It’s not about being small—it’s about being right-sized.

STEP ONE - PRINCIPLE 4 of 6

A strong advocate for freedom, limited government, and enterprise-driven progress, Jason also draws deeply from his personal recovery journey—an experience that reshaped his life and fuels his commitment to growth, contribution, and principled living. Through writing, speaking, and service, he continues to learn, share, and speak with purpose.

I can be engaged (on a remunerated or volunteer basis) to sit on Boards, Committees, Advisory and Reference Group Panels, and to speak to Business, Community, and Youth groups. I’m also open to providing comment to media on topics where I have relevant experience or insight. Please feel free to make contact.