When Determination Backfires: A Cautionary Tale of Self-Will Run Riot
Between kinder and grade 4, I was burdened with a stutter and frequent tonsillitis. But something shifted in October of my 9th year. From age 10 onward, I became fiercely determined. I still recall the pride I felt when Miss Van Galen, a former Carmelite Nun, awarded me “Most Improved.” While some criticize such awards as meaningless, for me, it was the recognition I needed.
In grade 6, I was placed in the Headmaster’s class—a Christian Brother and a good teacher, even as society was phasing out corporal punishment. That year, he called my mother in and gently advised me to stop “trying too hard.” I was only 11, but I was already consumed by self-imposed pressure. No one at home pushed me—I pushed myself.
By Year 8, I was Dux of my class. I’ll never forget the Atari my mother bought me as a reward. I spent that summer playing Pacman and Space Invaders. In Grades 9 and 10, I remained in the top four—though I knew I wouldn’t beat T and K, who became renowned surgeons, or my best mate Leith, who could turn his hand to anything and later thrived in the car business.
In Grade 11, I matriculated in one year. I earned a university-qualifying ATAR and won the State English Studies prize with a creative story about a chaotic breakfast TV show—much to the dismay of the two girls who had dominated the subject all year. In 1987, I left St. Patrick’s College, switched from STEM to business, law, and economics, and joined a public college. After six months, I stopped attending classes and took a job as an intern at the Launceston Bank for Savings. I still remember delivering financial newspapers to the top floor on the day of the 1987 stock market crash. Despite skipping class, I won the Economics Prize and came second in Legal Studies—just behind Leith.
My drinking began around this time—mostly work-related binge drinking. This pattern—determination, goals, hard work, outcomes, then drinking—repeated from age 17 to 25.
As my career grew, so did my determination—and my drinking. That fierce drive propelled my business success but also became a form of “self-will run riot.” Unchecked by spiritual surrender or balance, it led to frustration, overreach, and eventually, paranoid reasoning when outcomes didn’t align with expectations.
“I thought I could control everything, including myself. I didn’t realize that the very trait that helped me succeed was also laying the groundwork for my downfall.”
Scientific Backing: Self-Determination and Burnout
A recent peer-reviewed study published in PLOS ONE (2024) explored how self-determination interacts with burnout among medical residents. It found that while autonomy and competence (core tenets of Self-Determination Theory) are essential for motivation and performance, they can also correlate with emotional exhaustion and depersonalization when unmet or overextended.
Key findings include:
- Emotional Exhaustion (EE) was linked to feeling unprotected or unsupported in the work environment.
- Depersonalization (DP) increased when individuals felt burdened by expectations or lacked meaningful feedback.
- Lack of Personal Achievement (PA) was associated with overcommitment and unrealistic self-appraisal.
This aligns with my experience of overextending myself, biting off more than I could chew, and then internalizing failure as a personal flaw.
Impatience and Overreach: A Leadership Trap
My determination and impatience were closely linked, and this is echoed in leadership psychology. I had a “my way or the highway” mindset—a significant character defect rooted in control, impatience, and lack of empathy. This mindset often led to:
- Overcommitting to too many initiatives.
- Frustration when others didn’t match my pace.
- Difficulty delegating or trusting others’ input.
The only thing that makes me feel a little bit better about this defect is that it’s not uncommon among high-performing leaders and entrepreneurs. The very traits that drive innovation and resilience can, without reflection, lead to burnout, fractured relationships, and spiritual disconnection.
Integrating Faith and Leadership
Looking to the future, I now—through the help of God and AA—recognize that relentless self-will can crowd out divine guidance. The new me, the sober me, is trying to align business ambition with faith, humility, and service. But it’s not easy.
PART 1 determination
About Jason Bresnehan
Jason is the founder of Evahan, a consultancy dedicated to helping individuals and organizations build both financial and legacy wealth. With over 30 years of leadership across sectors and continents, he brings commercial acumen, strategic insight, and lived experience to every engagement. His work spans business transformation, venture management, and M&A, always grounded in a belief that ideas—shared with clarity, balance, and respect—can improve individuals, families, communities, and society.
A strong advocate for freedom, limited government, and enterprise-driven progress, Jason also draws deeply from his personal recovery journey—an experience that reshaped his life and fuels his commitment to growth, contribution, and principled living. Through writing, speaking, and service, he continues to learn, share, and speak with purpose.
I can be engaged (on a remunerated or volunteer basis) to sit on Boards, Committees, Advisory and Reference Group Panels, and to speak to Business, Community, and Youth groups. I’m also open to providing comment to media on topics where I have relevant experience or insight. Please feel free to make contact.