Anchored in Recovery: How Polyvagal Theory Helped Me Reframe Self-Will
One of the most impactful books I’ve read on nervous system regulation is Anchored by Deb Dana. Drawing from Polyvagal Theory, Dana outlines three core principles for regulating the nervous system—principles that, to me, offer profound insight for anyone navigating alcohol recovery.
As someone who lived my entire adult life powered by “self-will run riot,” I found these principles to be more than theory—they became tools. Tools that helped me slow down, gain perspective, and reconnect with others. Here’s how they’ve shown up in my own recovery journey:
1. Context
Before recovery, if I submitted a proposal to a client and didn’t hear back, my default reaction was frustration: “They’re being disrespectful.” My nervous system would leap straight into sympathetic overdrive—fight mode, 80% of the time.
But context changes everything. If I later found out the decision-maker was hospitalized with pneumonia, my thoughts and behaviour would shift instantly. The proposal hadn’t been ignored—it just wasn’t the priority.
Even a basic awareness of this principle acts like a damping mechanism. It slows the spin of self-will and makes space for understanding.
2. Choice
When I was driven by self-will, I often narrowed my options without even realizing it. I’d say things like, “We can’t delay the project—it has to start now.”
But in reality, a short delay might allow us to complete another bid. A medium delay might align better with the Easter holidays. There were always more choices—I just couldn’t see them when I was locked into tunnel vision.
Polyvagal awareness helped me pause long enough to ask: What else is possible here?
3. Connection
When I was in a sympathetic state, I avoided connection. I’d fire off emails, leave voicemails, keep things clinical. I didn’t “chew the fat” with the project lead, the client, the funder, or the JV partner.
But when I made the effort to pick up the phone—or better yet, meet face to face—I not only got more context, I built trust. I built relationships.
Connection isn’t just a nice-to-have. It’s a nervous system regulator. It brings us back into safety, into presence, into possibility.
These three principles—context, choice, and connection—have become anchors in my recovery. They help me notice when I’m slipping into old patterns, and they offer a way back.
They remind me that recovery isn’t just about abstaining from alcohol. It’s about learning to live differently. To respond, not react. To relate, not retreat.
And sometimes, all it takes is a breath, a pause, and a question: What’s really going on here?
part v inventory
About Jason Bresnehan
Jason is the founder of Evahan, a consultancy dedicated to helping individuals and organizations build both financial and legacy wealth. With over 30 years of leadership across sectors and continents, he brings commercial acumen, strategic insight, and lived experience to every engagement. His work spans business transformation, venture management, and M&A, always grounded in a belief that ideas—shared with clarity, balance, and respect—can improve individuals, families, communities, and society.
A strong advocate for freedom, limited government, and enterprise-driven progress, Jason also draws deeply from his personal recovery journey—an experience that reshaped his life and fuels his commitment to growth, contribution, and principled living. Through writing, speaking, and service, he continues to learn, share, and speak with purpose.
I can be engaged (on a remunerated or volunteer basis) to sit on Boards, Committees, Advisory and Reference Group Panels, and to speak to Business, Community, and Youth groups. I’m also open to providing comment to media on topics where I have relevant experience or insight. Please feel free to make contact.